From Coping to Flourishing: Rethinking Resilience in School Leadership

Written by Andrew Murray, former Principal and Director, Lumina Consulting

In education, we admire the people who just keep going. The ones who power through, hold it all together, and never seem to miss a beat. But what if resilience—and “keeping going”—isn’t just about surviving the pressure? What if it’s really about creating the conditions to flourish?

And flourishing?

It’s not about being endlessly upbeat or stress-free. It’s about being emotionally present, grounded in what matters, and connected to people who make you feel safe and supported. It’s what allows us to grow—not just get through.

The tricky thing is, resilience and disconnection can look the same from the outside. Both can keep you functioning. But only one actually sustains you. Disconnection often hides behind productivity. You can sleepwalk through the day, get the job done, tick off meetings, and keep the inbox moving—but something inside has gone quiet. You feel flat. Detached. Out of step with your own purpose.

That’s not resilience. That’s just coping in disguise. It happens everywhere. And in schools, where the pace is relentless and the emotional load is real, it’s all too easy to slip into that space without even noticing.

Real resilience doesn’t mean pushing through everything with a brave face. It means staying human in the middle of the mess. It’s about acknowledging what’s going on inside, making space for emotion, and drawing strength from meaningful relationships. It lives in environments where people are honest with one another. Where leaders model empathy, not just efficiency. Where colleagues understand the power of simply checking in and saying, “Hey, how are you really doing?”

I’ve seen this kind of culture transform schools. I visited one where students genuinely encouraged each other—even during tests. The staff described it as the first place they’d felt truly respected. Families felt part of the rhythm of the place. It wasn’t fancy. It was deeply human. And it didn’t happen by accident. It happened because the leadership treated culture like it mattered more than any quick win.

Flourishing schools don’t just run well. They feel well. And that starts with leaders who think less like managers and more like gardeners—tending the soil, making space for growth, knowing that pressure doesn’t grow people. Safety does.

We don’t talk enough about the emotional weight of leadership. The responsibility. The moments when you’re the one who has to hold it all together. The quiet cost of being the person others turn to—while you quietly wonder who’s there for you. There’s so much pressure to stay sharp, stay composed, stay in control. But maybe what leadership really needs isn’t more control. Maybe it needs more courage to be real.

Ask yourself: Am I showing up as a whole person, or just staying efficient? Am I living out my values, or going through the motions? Do I feel part of something purposeful—or have I just gotten good at getting by?

If you’re feeling like you’re functioning but not flourishing, you’re not failing. You’re just human. And you don’t have to stay stuck there.

Flourishing doesn’t happen all at once. It starts with a moment of awareness—giving yourself permission to stop and notice how you're really feeling, and what you might need next. It builds through small acts of connection. A conversation. A boundary. A decision that reflects who you are—not just what’s expected. And it grows strongest in cultures where people are allowed to be people, not just performers.

True strength isn’t about silencing discomfort. It’s about being honest in it—and helping others do the same. One small moment of presence. One decision to lead with care. That’s where it begins.

If you’re ready to explore the concept of flourishing—for yourself, your team, or your school—I’d love you to join me at the Wellbeing for Future Focused Schools Conference. I’ll be sharing practical tools and reflections to help you lead with intention, protect your energy, and create a workplace where people feel safe to thrive.

Please feel free to send me a message—I'd love to have a chat with you.

📍 Brisbane: 31 July - 1 August 2025 | Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre

📍 Melbourne: 28 - 29 August 2025 | Melbourne Convention & Exhibition Centre